9-10-2015

Human work, mainly because of motivation. 

I watched a video about Doremon just now. It is not the normal doremon, is chapter whereby the battery of doremon ran off. 

Nobita is sad. 

Yet, there is no way to rescue him due to multiple reasons. 

At the end, he studied hard to make Doremon back to life. 

What i want to highlight is this samuel. A solely emotion, is enough to make someone create great things. It is not about the plans you wish to have, or the goals you want to attain BUT INSTEAD is the feelings, emotions that drives you, motivates you to work harder. 

Often people who create great things, is because they are weak and helpless. That's why they thought of someway to solve the problem, and when the problem solve. A great thing born. 

I know your main goal is to change the world, you never ease to thought of changing the world. Despite you constantly hide it through laughter, smile, jokes, playfulness and entertainment. Today, I am here to tell you. Don't do this anymore. 

For only God knows the sorrow, if you hide it. What makes you man of sorrow? 

22/7/2014

Today, I have rested in my very own way. That was too skip a day of school and rest in my own quietness.
Whole day was to sleep, was to do my own preference. Since i am sick, hence i slept the whole day. Forget about my tuition, forget about my own duties.

Then i went on to facebook, sawing lots of photo about friends with friends. A huge sourish emotions came upon to my heart. That I feel like being left out from the class. All of them together, where only me was left out. Everyone in the class was one, but only me was outside.

November

A lot of things happen in this month. First, I graduated; second, I act as a drummer in a prom night; Third, I went through a good and memorable S3 camp. Fourth, I was whacked by two Indian fellows and ended badly injured. Even though now is only 18th of November, yet many seems come through.

Lets talk slowly la.

Graduation,

Well, graduation is just a graduation. I actually don't really feel much. Indeed there is certainly some sadness that I am going to depart from my very own home school. After this graduation, I had no choice to face life. It is not simple to just abandon the environment that I adept in after 6 years. I might not popular in school, but it is a sin if I deny I don't love this school. Dozen of memories had I spent in this school.

I remember that how I chit-chat with Chua and Lim in school. I recalled that both of us talking about ideologies and theologies. I remember that how stupid and childish when I am young in this school. All of it is so embarrassing. Still, it is because of all these memories, there is me today.

Since, it is a graduation day. It is a culture of today to take pictures during a big day. I took several pic. Zhao Tat, when u come back to this site, take a look on it bah.I am sure it will really lift up your miserable lips.

(Recieving the cert) 

( taking best photo with the best chinese teacher) 

( A long yearn pic to take with your 1st love) 

(The best kindest woman in the whole school) 

Prom Night, 

This, is the worst prom I have ever been. Everything seems so messed up. Over performance, no leadership, no cooperative, nothing! Before the day I already tell the leader to make the technician come by at 3 o'clock. End up, the fellow come by 5.30! Our event starts at 7 sharp weh. The leader still want to bark at us, she literally useless man. 

I have no idea why is she the chairman of this prom. Brainless de. At that day, what I had was y.h messages that calmed me down. Well, I didn't take any food that day. I am tired. For I reach there 2.30 pm, until end of the event 12 am. Still, what do encourage me was Chua and Lim and y.h messages. Without all of them, I think I will surely scold all of the committees. A bunch of jokers! O f course la, yan wei and John helped me lot too, to stabilize my emotions. 

I learned two things in this prom. One, if you are famous, whatever shit u shit is not shit yet gold. Second, is better to be nobody where there is somebody..  I do take quite number of pics. Zhao Tat, look at it when you are old. Maybe it will bring sweetness in your heart leh...

(The bros)

(The team) 

(Being Gay with zhong han)

(The men)

S3 Camp

For 1st, I really thought this camp will be boring. Since everyone has their own gang. I thought I might ended up being alone. Hence, I didn't really hope for it. But when it is over, a sudden sadness come into my heart. I remember that camp where we almost die due to landslides. That was really awesome and trauma. Hahahahaha, dont know what to say but is really fun! 

   

2015 September

How long did not I visited this site. This is my little tiny place that can throws my sorrow. Dear Samuel, I know you are having a tough time hence you are here. I understand. Yet if u take a look behind your ways, you actually accomplish many things that beyond your strength at the past.

Regards.

From 2014 - 2015:

After UEC graduation, I worked as a tuition teacher at bayu for 2 months. It is indeed a short but memorable journey of mine. I get to inspire students with my works of way. Not sure whether they remind me of not, it is indeed a sweet journey that I have been through.

With money, many things can be achieve. Choices are your friends with the currency you currently have. But I believe, something unique in our hearts are not allowed to be bought by currency, our dignity of viewing things. I wrote to you now.Yet before I wrote to you, my soul been through trouble. I was here typing alone in UTAR library at third floor.

Before that, I read through facebook and find out that a friend of mine, Chua Han, you deeply admire and eager to forge your soul with him together, had actually long ago decided to isolate you and do not actually understand you at all. This now brings me back when we fought, why we fought and how we ended the fought. Although it does not really ended, the scenario and words are still roaming around my head as is avenging my rash actions.

It all started from June where we are having a conversation about uni-life, where comes yew wey starts attacking me saying that I have not found passion in life. Well, I am angry because I do not wish to be lecture by a guy who have nothing and depending on mama pocket too survive. His words are concise, vigorous, pissing me off as usual. To shut his mouth, I replied,

“Come on, is my life la."

Of course, he pissed off and told me that he does not wish to continue this conversation more. Then of course, I too, ended the call. After several days, I informed Chua Han this matter and told him that I will not skype with yew wey for some time to let this issue lower down. From then onward, he began isolating me. I did tried my best to contact them, but just failed or rejected by them without mercy.

The old man of me, what will you think if you read back this passage? I hope you will laugh with joy and say is just a small matter or you will come back and give a comment that 3 of you have forge back the relationship to a deeper level.  Haha

Anyway, this young me now think of this. If I have to always tolerant them, what for us being friends? Even thought friendship comes with hardship, yet true friendship is actually forge by disagree.

皇路当清逸，含和吐明廷。时穷皆乃先，一一崔丹青。

I have seen their true face, their true identity. Best is to stay away from them, forget them. For they change their opinions at ease, they will not reveal themselves to you but wish to gain your trust. I must forget about them. Must! I must be cruel enough to forget, when days comes, I will scoff at their ideas and mourn at their incapability, the wisdom that they believe on overall is nothing but blasphemy.

Good is you realize it now. Leave them, let them have their own fun. While you will have your own joy in your new environment. These call your best friends are actually try to know you more and manipulate you. Believe in the word of God, do not lose hope for new things.  For the strength will come when you wait upon the Lord.


Although, I am going for finals now. I should not have time to think for such things, it agitates me every moment I thought of them. I must purge evil from my circles. I must be the one I desire to. Hence I wrote to ease my heart.

I want to find new friends and wish to find a friendship where is long-lasting; I wish to find something that can last, that is unique within me and them. Will God help me? I sure He will.

Come back, finals are tough at this moment. Biotechnology is my course, it is tough man. Although things seems tough, I believe I will have the push to study, for the Lord will be my strength. (Studying in library, 9/9/2015, 1522 UTC)

30/10/2014

Finally, is over. Everything that I had prepared for, has over. Deep in my heart is very sorrowful due to unsatisfied during my UEC exam. Now here am I , lingering, resting, glimpsing everything that the world have gave me. Seriously, I have no idea what shall I do after this thing. Well, I do have plenty of plans. Earn some money, take up taekwondo lesson, chase ying hui and other sort of things I wish to do.

But for all of this, pls let me take a rest 1st. Nights ~~

1/10/2014

A exams rushing like wind coming into my life, I began panic instead of staying calm. Financial problem, friends issue.etc. Has really being a big problem in my freaking life. I am a normal person, at such times still I will face exhaustion. I began to search for work to help on my tuition fees, began to play lesser game and study harder, began my insomnia month. Damn pek cek weh. 

Yet what could I do, it is for my very own future. If I give up, I would had lost everything in my life. Each dream that I wish to dream, each goal I wish to achieve, would rather be vanished instead of appearing in my life. 

Well, life as usual. I still go on prayer meeting, I still go on Sunday services, I still seek advice from Gabriel, I still pray for strength to overcome the sin I have. Yet in bottom of my heart I know, I am damn tired. Trying to taint my soul into sin to sleep, failed not succeed. Trying to take a good night sleep, adrenaline rush due to stress. Trying to study freaking hard, yet my body cannot take it. Who can help me currently, where all of mine, has gone. 

3/9/2014

3/9/2014

I could say that this is after a very long time i have come here to type on something again, but nah you know, senior 3 students are a little bit busier than they thought. Recently, i have decided to really put my effort up in order to further up my studies in future. Hence, time management is out of order and the time i left, sad to say but i had use it for games.

Currently i am at the chrome lab to study with Lim, he is going out to take some water and so i came across this idea,  to type before him and than study later. This is why am i here^^

Anyway, senior 3 life is boring like shit. Even do the exams is quite tough and make me feel very interesting but the preparation is way hell than ever you could thought off. Still, I deeply believe that I will make the best record of myself. Race up to the top of my hill, and win this freaking race.

I have asked God numerous times about my suffering and why can't have my success in my freaking life. There is no answer for ages and I feel like hitting my head on the bricks.

One day, God replied me... Can you believe it? He replied to me when i am on board of a bus. Suck moment, but very surprising.

He told me:

"Son, you always complained about your failures and why there are so many stones in your path. First of all, why are you complaining? "

He continued:

"Didn't i said that my grace will be sufficient for you daily? Didn't i defeat death alone? Didn't i forgive you when your screw was loosen? And here you are to complaining to me that your life wasn't good enough. what problem are you?"

then i argued:

"God, but it is just not fair that people can go through life as easy as they like, they have no problems with their life, but i have! That's not fair! "

Then only i realize that I have said the wrong thing. Still, my heart didn't want to lose out in this private conversation. Thought that He will seize me and straight leave out of my life, He didn't, yet He asked:

"Son, are you strong? "

"No, i am weak like shit."

"Tell me, do you think you strong?"

"NO! Only in Christ i am strong."

"See, that's it. You are mine, son. Look at you yourself right now, didn't you are strong? The reason why i put this rock in your path is not that i wish to make your life tougher or for you to prove me that you are strong. The reason why i put this rock in of your life is so that you will become strong by depending on me."

I confused...

"Look at you right now, failures and failures, yet you still stand up and never fall. Look at you, didn't all the mess makes you think further and further. Look at you right now, didn't you become stronger? The way you deal with people and anger, the way where you handling your crisis and emotions. Didn't they improved? "

"You are weak, but with me you will be strong. Depend on me, for I am a Jealous God. My people stray their path and mocked me. Hence, I discipline them by scattering them. Then what did I do? Didn't i rebuild their nation? Didn't I raise them to be the most powerful people on the earth?"

"In the end, trust Me. For i am the truth, the way and the light. Trust Me, for i am the good shepherd that will lay his life for his sheep. Trust me and go on without complaining. Or then do you want me to come with a graceful heart or a rod for discipline. "

I there listening, asleep for a moment but in the deepest heart i know that God has touched me and empowered me.

Therefore, here am I talking to you today.

Bye~