9 November 2015
Recently I have been involving few activities in my university. It makes me so busy until I fall a sick. When I looked back my past, I found it was regrettable. My soul are so dreadful right now.
I have a past, that's all unremarkable.
A past whereby nothing is solid everything is void.
I regret, sadden why God never take me off from this situation.
Yet, life still go on.
Live well, is the greatest revenge.
Can I still get very good friends?
Am I still eligible to have best friends?
Gabriel is one, gideon is one.
Who else anymore?
When I need help they will give their hand to me?
I hope people will one day...
Monday, 9 November 2015
Thursday, 22 October 2015
23 - 10 -2015 (UTC - 0254)
Soon will be November, and then December and the year 2016 will start again.
I know by this time I should be sleeping but I just cant really sleep now, it is because of the damn Ice Breaking Telematch thingy. As I am holding the position as station master, I cant afford to sleep late way leaving my station nonconductor at the end. I am not going to do this.
In fact, I will raise my eyebrows until the end of this activity. It is to ensure everything are work under my hands are projected properly.
Few days ago, I begin attending the IBT manpower briefing and arranging the stations. It was really tiring but filled with joy. I met a lots of people and I feel that my instinct capability begin to run mad such as my leadership skills, confidence, emotional tackling improved a lot. The feeling are as amounted as an upgraded software, better.
Of course, seeing Nicole are unavoidable as she is also a part of our big family. She is indeed fabulous and supremely beautiful. My sights, standards are definitely high regarding facial features. Indeed there are also many wonderful, outstanding woman I make contact. Like leeng, she is just wonderful, pretty and loud in voice.
Just one thing Nicole are bad at, she just like cling on to other male to stir out attention. Not sure but maybe is that reason she always do beyond the line, and causes anger to rise. She is indeed aggressive and straight forward.
As wise adapt to situation like waters alter to the shape of sea shore. One must be smart to know what should be done and what shall not. It seems like she does not ever attain this matter. I hope she can figure out herself but not by our tongue.
Anyway, my heart moved in every conversation we have, as specially the moment where carrying her belongings. That particularly moved my urged to protect and protest. Being in a dilemma, whether should I tell her about my feelings or just shutting up myself. Pretend nothing happen, as I am so good at it. I do not really know what to do right now.
Coming back to the IBT team, the people seems to like me. Thank God. Yet, I am sure that someone are being unpleasant about me and plot about me. I must be careful. Any good things you have build currently can be pulled down by a string of your enemy. I must carefully observe and try to be universal. Of course, being true are my principle in socializing. That's not going to change if anything diversifying happened. I am not going to be like people like yew wey, pretend and strike even the closest friend.
Who are my enemy?
Am I standing the way of righteous?
No, what I standing is just the path of being truth and kind.
I am tired of being kind,
still will be kind.
For my Lord are kind and holy.
I am sick of being nice,
still shall be nice.
For my Lord did not vindicate my soul because of my sin,
yet cover me with grace.
Shall not be lazy for tasks,
even from your greatest enemy or greatest allies.
As the Lord did not forsake you while you plea.
He answers and rescue you from death.
Act as Him,
the greatest protocol is to love.
Yet hate no.
From this IBT i understand one thing, serve men so that they will serve you. You must first contribute, serve extra effort. Only your men will listen to you. Merely talking men does not make any differences in tasking but disgracing himself.
Create resources for your men, so that they are motivated to work for you even you displease at doing so. So that you will gain respect.
I should get some sleep now jor.. nights~
Soon will be November, and then December and the year 2016 will start again.
I know by this time I should be sleeping but I just cant really sleep now, it is because of the damn Ice Breaking Telematch thingy. As I am holding the position as station master, I cant afford to sleep late way leaving my station nonconductor at the end. I am not going to do this.
In fact, I will raise my eyebrows until the end of this activity. It is to ensure everything are work under my hands are projected properly.
Few days ago, I begin attending the IBT manpower briefing and arranging the stations. It was really tiring but filled with joy. I met a lots of people and I feel that my instinct capability begin to run mad such as my leadership skills, confidence, emotional tackling improved a lot. The feeling are as amounted as an upgraded software, better.
Of course, seeing Nicole are unavoidable as she is also a part of our big family. She is indeed fabulous and supremely beautiful. My sights, standards are definitely high regarding facial features. Indeed there are also many wonderful, outstanding woman I make contact. Like leeng, she is just wonderful, pretty and loud in voice.
Just one thing Nicole are bad at, she just like cling on to other male to stir out attention. Not sure but maybe is that reason she always do beyond the line, and causes anger to rise. She is indeed aggressive and straight forward.
As wise adapt to situation like waters alter to the shape of sea shore. One must be smart to know what should be done and what shall not. It seems like she does not ever attain this matter. I hope she can figure out herself but not by our tongue.
Anyway, my heart moved in every conversation we have, as specially the moment where carrying her belongings. That particularly moved my urged to protect and protest. Being in a dilemma, whether should I tell her about my feelings or just shutting up myself. Pretend nothing happen, as I am so good at it. I do not really know what to do right now.
Coming back to the IBT team, the people seems to like me. Thank God. Yet, I am sure that someone are being unpleasant about me and plot about me. I must be careful. Any good things you have build currently can be pulled down by a string of your enemy. I must carefully observe and try to be universal. Of course, being true are my principle in socializing. That's not going to change if anything diversifying happened. I am not going to be like people like yew wey, pretend and strike even the closest friend.
Who are my enemy?
Am I standing the way of righteous?
No, what I standing is just the path of being truth and kind.
I am tired of being kind,
still will be kind.
For my Lord are kind and holy.
I am sick of being nice,
still shall be nice.
For my Lord did not vindicate my soul because of my sin,
yet cover me with grace.
Shall not be lazy for tasks,
even from your greatest enemy or greatest allies.
As the Lord did not forsake you while you plea.
He answers and rescue you from death.
Act as Him,
the greatest protocol is to love.
Yet hate no.
From this IBT i understand one thing, serve men so that they will serve you. You must first contribute, serve extra effort. Only your men will listen to you. Merely talking men does not make any differences in tasking but disgracing himself.
Create resources for your men, so that they are motivated to work for you even you displease at doing so. So that you will gain respect.
I should get some sleep now jor.. nights~
Sunday, 11 October 2015
12 October 2015
12 October 2015
Who does not want to respected by circles around them?
Who does not wish to be honored by people?
Hence fore they be kind towards people, constantly siding people, agreeing with them and hope to gain respect through it. Yet, they will never received the reward they hunger so much but rewarded with the opposite effect.
Are they wrong?
No one can assure that, but one thing we can know is that such ways will not lead you to what you wish. Soon, you will thought as a replaceable individual, lack of principle and someone whom are only needed for first aid but not a long time friend. They will abandon you when you are not needed.
Not everyone's fault, I did that too.
Now I tell you not to do that Samuel, treasure what you received given by people. Repay them with great efforts. Never forsake them, call them for once a while. Remind them in places, buy them food.
For those who try to manipulate you, try to constantly show off and want you to obey them, you had experienced they forsaking you for no reasons or guilt felt from them. Stay away from them, they try to be sarcastic with you. You will mock them straight, just treat them like nobody.
Never call them nor keep in touch with them for they really are not going to make you inspired.
They should just die!
Who does not want to respected by circles around them?
Who does not wish to be honored by people?
Hence fore they be kind towards people, constantly siding people, agreeing with them and hope to gain respect through it. Yet, they will never received the reward they hunger so much but rewarded with the opposite effect.
Are they wrong?
No one can assure that, but one thing we can know is that such ways will not lead you to what you wish. Soon, you will thought as a replaceable individual, lack of principle and someone whom are only needed for first aid but not a long time friend. They will abandon you when you are not needed.
Not everyone's fault, I did that too.
Now I tell you not to do that Samuel, treasure what you received given by people. Repay them with great efforts. Never forsake them, call them for once a while. Remind them in places, buy them food.
For those who try to manipulate you, try to constantly show off and want you to obey them, you had experienced they forsaking you for no reasons or guilt felt from them. Stay away from them, they try to be sarcastic with you. You will mock them straight, just treat them like nobody.
Never call them nor keep in touch with them for they really are not going to make you inspired.
They should just die!
Monday, 28 September 2015
20/9/2015
I thought of saying nothing much today, actually not. My soul has lots to say that is why I am here.
I do not know when i became so fearful that being ignore by others, I do not know actually I am that weak and fragile. People with talkative spirit are often timid and strength-less in their heart. This will be my process of being stronger. What is well commend if a kid do what he only know but did not struggle in life, how many praise available for someone who do not evil do good. It is because someone insisted on doing good by knowing evil, struggling with evil are appointed as great.
Jesus knows evil, but he give his best to become good. He succeeded and we are all safe.
The most difficult part in life is not about the challenges or the devastate circumstances you going through. The most difficult part is knowing something satisfy you are unreachable. Imagine you know hope is there, but the circumstances makes you unreachable towards that hope, a.k.a hopeless.
"I am done" , Such phrases will pop up, instinctively.
You blaming yourself?
It is a very good start, if you know to blame yourself instead complaining. Some people, do not even think themselves are in fault when facing such situation. The second thought you will think of is to turn over the tide, win back the game.
"I am going to do........, I will create......" such phrases will enlighten you to move forward. Give you hope.
Yet this spirit will not last, as frustration keep coming and coming, as emotions that ache your heart continue to flow in your vein. Most people are not design to take it. Hence,
They give up.
They begin to blame the divine or the spirits.
They begin to shred tears overflows the pillow.
They begin to lose their self-confidence.
They begin to abstain from the fear-factor.
They begin to live a new life, with a new scar craved to their soul.
Circles are endless, restraining your dreams and heights wished to achieve. Telling you to live in reality, do what is majority doing. This means, you getting old.
Religions gives you hope? For you to turn over the tide, gives you confidence in believing that God the almighty will empower you and allow you creates great work that honors him.
Come on, if the God you serve is a true and almighty God. Do you think your lips are enough to praise him or your great works are enough?
Please, you think a rich man will want a begger's shirt? If that shirt are specially made by my begger friend, I, as the rich man will accept it with tears but if I do not know the fella, you really I will have the time to take care of him.
According to oxford dictionary, a religion is an organized collection of beliefs, cultural systems, and world views that relate humanity to an order of existence. (2015, wikipedia)
Personally, I do not think religion gives you hope. I think it shape your mindset and character and allow you to success with a different manner. This can be also mean as your God are helping you by teaching you new things. Divine help from God. I respect every religion, please do not think I am a fascist to my own religion.
Yet, how can God help you if you do not acquire the characteristic or requirements for success? I have seen many religious people equipped with retard manners, making everyone pisses them off and become lonely and die in alone without soul mate along their life journey. What is written is only few of the minor successful case. Are you sure you will be the one?
If you are not sure then you should right now, packs your bags of your mind and begin to work hard to strive through life. So that at the end you will not regret and tears your soul out of your eyes, Pastors, ministers, teachers and otheres can talk what they want.They are trying to use you for their benefits, you must understand this before engage with such people. You must not let your guard down as the world really do not acquire people with kind heart. As all people has fallen short of the glory for God.
Why pastors help you? Did not they wish you to stay in his church by using the name of God?(Although he is antedated to do so)
Why ministers give money to the poor? Did not they wish you to vote them?
They are not in fault as all people for themselves. Think about it, did not ultimately pastor gain the most when you are success even sometimes they are the ones who cause you in trouble. Think about it, did not ultimately ministers are the one who makes you poor by taxes and false promises.
Do not trust with people you do not know, always leave a line with the people you meet. Regardless good friends or mere stranger. You can be merciful like Jesus by helping them when they need, but it is not necessary to do it all times. Just be with them, do not expose yourself too much will lead them has a thought you are a good guy.
Humans, are very complex. They want what they desire but are restrain towards their moral values. Pitiful are those who do not recognize themselves they are in such position but try to cover it with excuses.
Cut it off. Acknowledge you are a bastard. You will only protect what you think is worth belong to you and will betray them if needed for survival needs or protecting something more related to you.
It is alright to be like that, for everyone knows this story.
Hence start not to depend on your friends anymore, start your own research and be aggressive in obtaining information. Move your brain cells. Think plots and strategies to counter your enemies, slaughter them with no mercy. Mercy are given to those who are merciful and acknowledge themselves are evil but can do nothing. Is time for you to do so.
Do not regret only when you are hit by your enemy. Protect yourself, protect what are granted to you and forget about those life philosopher who think themselves are smarter and try to lecture you. Nor be sad when you are alone, as only alone will allow you to experience fear and slackness.
I thought of saying nothing much today, actually not. My soul has lots to say that is why I am here.
I do not know when i became so fearful that being ignore by others, I do not know actually I am that weak and fragile. People with talkative spirit are often timid and strength-less in their heart. This will be my process of being stronger. What is well commend if a kid do what he only know but did not struggle in life, how many praise available for someone who do not evil do good. It is because someone insisted on doing good by knowing evil, struggling with evil are appointed as great.
Jesus knows evil, but he give his best to become good. He succeeded and we are all safe.
The most difficult part in life is not about the challenges or the devastate circumstances you going through. The most difficult part is knowing something satisfy you are unreachable. Imagine you know hope is there, but the circumstances makes you unreachable towards that hope, a.k.a hopeless.
"I am done" , Such phrases will pop up, instinctively.
You blaming yourself?
It is a very good start, if you know to blame yourself instead complaining. Some people, do not even think themselves are in fault when facing such situation. The second thought you will think of is to turn over the tide, win back the game.
"I am going to do........, I will create......" such phrases will enlighten you to move forward. Give you hope.
Yet this spirit will not last, as frustration keep coming and coming, as emotions that ache your heart continue to flow in your vein. Most people are not design to take it. Hence,
They give up.
They begin to blame the divine or the spirits.
They begin to shred tears overflows the pillow.
They begin to lose their self-confidence.
They begin to abstain from the fear-factor.
They begin to live a new life, with a new scar craved to their soul.
Circles are endless, restraining your dreams and heights wished to achieve. Telling you to live in reality, do what is majority doing. This means, you getting old.
Religions gives you hope? For you to turn over the tide, gives you confidence in believing that God the almighty will empower you and allow you creates great work that honors him.
Come on, if the God you serve is a true and almighty God. Do you think your lips are enough to praise him or your great works are enough?
Please, you think a rich man will want a begger's shirt? If that shirt are specially made by my begger friend, I, as the rich man will accept it with tears but if I do not know the fella, you really I will have the time to take care of him.
According to oxford dictionary, a religion is an organized collection of beliefs, cultural systems, and world views that relate humanity to an order of existence. (2015, wikipedia)
Personally, I do not think religion gives you hope. I think it shape your mindset and character and allow you to success with a different manner. This can be also mean as your God are helping you by teaching you new things. Divine help from God. I respect every religion, please do not think I am a fascist to my own religion.
Yet, how can God help you if you do not acquire the characteristic or requirements for success? I have seen many religious people equipped with retard manners, making everyone pisses them off and become lonely and die in alone without soul mate along their life journey. What is written is only few of the minor successful case. Are you sure you will be the one?
If you are not sure then you should right now, packs your bags of your mind and begin to work hard to strive through life. So that at the end you will not regret and tears your soul out of your eyes, Pastors, ministers, teachers and otheres can talk what they want.They are trying to use you for their benefits, you must understand this before engage with such people. You must not let your guard down as the world really do not acquire people with kind heart. As all people has fallen short of the glory for God.
Why pastors help you? Did not they wish you to stay in his church by using the name of God?(Although he is antedated to do so)
Why ministers give money to the poor? Did not they wish you to vote them?
They are not in fault as all people for themselves. Think about it, did not ultimately pastor gain the most when you are success even sometimes they are the ones who cause you in trouble. Think about it, did not ultimately ministers are the one who makes you poor by taxes and false promises.
Do not trust with people you do not know, always leave a line with the people you meet. Regardless good friends or mere stranger. You can be merciful like Jesus by helping them when they need, but it is not necessary to do it all times. Just be with them, do not expose yourself too much will lead them has a thought you are a good guy.
Humans, are very complex. They want what they desire but are restrain towards their moral values. Pitiful are those who do not recognize themselves they are in such position but try to cover it with excuses.
Cut it off. Acknowledge you are a bastard. You will only protect what you think is worth belong to you and will betray them if needed for survival needs or protecting something more related to you.
It is alright to be like that, for everyone knows this story.
Hence start not to depend on your friends anymore, start your own research and be aggressive in obtaining information. Move your brain cells. Think plots and strategies to counter your enemies, slaughter them with no mercy. Mercy are given to those who are merciful and acknowledge themselves are evil but can do nothing. Is time for you to do so.
Do not regret only when you are hit by your enemy. Protect yourself, protect what are granted to you and forget about those life philosopher who think themselves are smarter and try to lecture you. Nor be sad when you are alone, as only alone will allow you to experience fear and slackness.
Friday, 18 September 2015
19/9/2015
I begin to think am I going to the wrong University. Not sure, but hope that's not real.
Everyday I walk by-past groups of groups of people, everyday I see them studying by groups and by groups they cheer and laugh and share the pain.
Painful.
I am not really that kind of person try to blame around the world, but sometimes, things just treat differently compare me to the others. Others are constantly supporting each other but way alone I studying in my hostel, facing windows and walls that I hate upon. Bloody hell.
Blaming does not solve anything I know, I GIVE UP, to the life where I will have a good university life that walk with a bunch of really good friends, I give up. I will never thought of it anymore. I will never thought of being a nice guy to everyone. If you treat me in such manner, I will double, triple to pay u back. You dishonor me, I will disgrace you as amounted you are worthless in this world.
I have grown up God, to an extend where I see all the traps are lying there; to an extend that I know everyone are not actually kind. They just want things from people, when they need you, they come with hypocritical manner. When they are full of their hands, they will just toss you as easy as you can imagine.
University did not teach me to have fun, rather to be cautious to everyone. Do not try to expose yourself to them. It is indeed you show your emotions to them, tell them what is your danger zone yet never- never tell them how you think that manner. No one is interested in that particular part, including me. Since everyone, just want the results.
Life, I learned.
Still got more to learn.
I begin to think am I going to the wrong University. Not sure, but hope that's not real.
Everyday I walk by-past groups of groups of people, everyday I see them studying by groups and by groups they cheer and laugh and share the pain.
Painful.
I am not really that kind of person try to blame around the world, but sometimes, things just treat differently compare me to the others. Others are constantly supporting each other but way alone I studying in my hostel, facing windows and walls that I hate upon. Bloody hell.
Blaming does not solve anything I know, I GIVE UP, to the life where I will have a good university life that walk with a bunch of really good friends, I give up. I will never thought of it anymore. I will never thought of being a nice guy to everyone. If you treat me in such manner, I will double, triple to pay u back. You dishonor me, I will disgrace you as amounted you are worthless in this world.
I have grown up God, to an extend where I see all the traps are lying there; to an extend that I know everyone are not actually kind. They just want things from people, when they need you, they come with hypocritical manner. When they are full of their hands, they will just toss you as easy as you can imagine.
University did not teach me to have fun, rather to be cautious to everyone. Do not try to expose yourself to them. It is indeed you show your emotions to them, tell them what is your danger zone yet never- never tell them how you think that manner. No one is interested in that particular part, including me. Since everyone, just want the results.
Life, I learned.
Still got more to learn.
Monday, 14 September 2015
14-9-2015
Today midnight I got up to pray and inquire the Lord about my childish actions regarding the case between my 2 friends. Chua Han and Yew Wey.
I asked the Lord:
"Is it right for me to find new friends and forsake them? Am I correct in that argument? "
The Lord replies:
"Does a friendship that compromises in every conversation you have with them make you comfortable? If is really, then go ahead and reunite with them. If not, go on life."
Yet my heart still unease of the decision I am going to make. I think I am just being a coward of said by people a betrayer in friendship. Zhao Tat are not sure at all, whether to make this decision. Then the Lord continues:
"Look, I desire to make new things. Yet why are you still niggling on the old past glory? You make new friends here, you make your power here, you build connections here. Not past there anymore, forget about those past glory."
"Remember the pharisees, they thought that I will restore them in restoring their past glories. How shallow. They only thought of that. Yet what I intended was greater, a salvation, that saves the whole world. "
Then I know, there is no power in the past. There is no power if we do not look at future. There is no new things if we keep on clinging and comparing with our former self. I look back from the picture, my heart was eased.
I need to go on, I got my hands so full. My future, grades, family, pride are on my shoulder. I cannot afford to lose. I must overcome, for the Lord will be my strength and I will answer his call, to fulfill all He wants but not my goal anymore. I believe, if I follow his ways. My dad, my two moms, brothers and sisters, they will proud of me.
Right now (2255, UTC), I am studying in the bean cafe. Freaking many couples here, I am one of the single in two of us. Haha.
Fight son, go go go. Chase your dreams! God, wants you to have no regret in life. If u really listen to those pastor who tell you do not enjoy life, ignore him. They are mainly try to control you and serve his own purposes. Do it, and glorify the Lord always, all times!
Samuel, the future. Comment on this, think and laugh bah...
Today midnight I got up to pray and inquire the Lord about my childish actions regarding the case between my 2 friends. Chua Han and Yew Wey.
I asked the Lord:
"Is it right for me to find new friends and forsake them? Am I correct in that argument? "
The Lord replies:
"Does a friendship that compromises in every conversation you have with them make you comfortable? If is really, then go ahead and reunite with them. If not, go on life."
Yet my heart still unease of the decision I am going to make. I think I am just being a coward of said by people a betrayer in friendship. Zhao Tat are not sure at all, whether to make this decision. Then the Lord continues:
"Look, I desire to make new things. Yet why are you still niggling on the old past glory? You make new friends here, you make your power here, you build connections here. Not past there anymore, forget about those past glory."
"Remember the pharisees, they thought that I will restore them in restoring their past glories. How shallow. They only thought of that. Yet what I intended was greater, a salvation, that saves the whole world. "
Then I know, there is no power in the past. There is no power if we do not look at future. There is no new things if we keep on clinging and comparing with our former self. I look back from the picture, my heart was eased.
I need to go on, I got my hands so full. My future, grades, family, pride are on my shoulder. I cannot afford to lose. I must overcome, for the Lord will be my strength and I will answer his call, to fulfill all He wants but not my goal anymore. I believe, if I follow his ways. My dad, my two moms, brothers and sisters, they will proud of me.
Right now (2255, UTC), I am studying in the bean cafe. Freaking many couples here, I am one of the single in two of us. Haha.
Fight son, go go go. Chase your dreams! God, wants you to have no regret in life. If u really listen to those pastor who tell you do not enjoy life, ignore him. They are mainly try to control you and serve his own purposes. Do it, and glorify the Lord always, all times!
Samuel, the future. Comment on this, think and laugh bah...
Thursday, 10 September 2015
9-10-2015
Human work, mainly because of motivation.
I watched a video about Doremon just now. It is not the normal doremon, is chapter whereby the battery of doremon ran off.
Nobita is sad.
Yet, there is no way to rescue him due to multiple reasons.
At the end, he studied hard to make Doremon back to life.
What i want to highlight is this samuel. A solely emotion, is enough to make someone create great things. It is not about the plans you wish to have, or the goals you want to attain BUT INSTEAD is the feelings, emotions that drives you, motivates you to work harder.
Often people who create great things, is because they are weak and helpless. That's why they thought of someway to solve the problem, and when the problem solve. A great thing born.
I know your main goal is to change the world, you never ease to thought of changing the world. Despite you constantly hide it through laughter, smile, jokes, playfulness and entertainment. Today, I am here to tell you. Don't do this anymore.
For only God knows the sorrow, if you hide it. What makes you man of sorrow?
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