30 November 2015

I finally found myself a talent that I proud of, which is to speak boldly. Praise to be the Lord, for He has given me an opportunity to understand myself. Ever since now, I am trying to learn more about giving speeches and learn to speak as a man. Through out working with FBF people, I found that is so much for me to improve. There are indeed a borderline between me and them, yet I will not give up mixing with them. 

I will make myself capable and learn the way the converse with each other, their daily lifestyle and topics to enrich different aspect and elements in life. After all, life is short and who knows how many time we having the opportunity of knowing different aspects of life. 

I want to go travel alone, I want to speak and debate with others in terms of public speaking, I want to know more about organizing attitude and competencies required. Learning more, no idea to fond, I just solely want to explore. The bloodthirsty of curiosity are flowing. 

Maybe just my pride, being the winner in life since to be my objective. Yet, what I want is to fragrance in character and competency with respected level. What for a man without character although he achieve high heights. I will just start from something small, cleaning up my own room, cook for myself, learn more about cooking, be punctual, prohibiting grapevine conversations, sleep early and etc. Somehow but not least, it will be more controlling over own emotions and tend not to lust over girls.   

No one actually interested on your glory or understanding, instead they are more interested your point of view in life (yet expect you to understands theirs as well) and your feelings among them. If you yourself wish to be honored by people, would not other people feel the same. What matters is just the intensity of the urge in influencing others in a group. 

That's what I believe in the least. My voice, will use to spread harmony in world; my talents, will use to create peace among nations ; my intelligence, will be for the greater benefit of the world. Of all things, my spirit and love, will be for my wife. The ones I love the most.

A  day later

I regret a lot of things in life, the most I regret in this current life is that I did not approach her to tell her my feelings. Her name shall not be mention. I regret that the timid of mine. Nothing much, this just come across to me.

Right now, I am fearful. Whereby no one will love me, the one I love will not love me. Will I find a partner that I can share my heart with him? My parents or family cannot take this role, only the her can take it. With my timid character will I succeed in fighting for love?

that's a very good question. 

21 November 2015

This game, I will give my best. For nothing I will gain, if no pain were contributed. My sorrow, my fear, my weakness, I must overcome. I already no road of return, all I have was just to move forward and forward. For the sake of my life and love ones, i must move forward.

Yes samuel, you are indeed knowledgeable, outspoken with convincing techniques. Yet remember it is that God placed Gabriel to instruct and inspire you. Do not boost about your own strength but the great works of God. Who are you, if is not about him. Accomplish all things in a manner with great humbleness and start listening to others. Patience in tolerating, endure suffering, persevere hardships with the guidance of Lord. Ultimately, it is character that determine existence of someone. 

What for a person filled with strength and talented, yet loss his integrity and humbleness. Did not God said:

I will oppose the proud, but give grace to the humble

The more busy you are, more skill will be enhance. Just a little man, move forward. You can do it Samuel, speak, my God is with me. Our God is not dead son, regardless what you did, he is watching you and will encourage your adventure. Yet, take note that He is watching. Sin not or perish. Careful of you weaknesses. Do not fall into temptation, seek and inquire the wisdom of Lord before placing your pieces in this game. Constantly encourage yourself, even in hardships drag your body to obey the chosen character of Ruth. 

Complain not, frustrate not, all these change situation not. All you can do is to endure, speak not a single thing to yourself or to your neighbors. The moment you speak, the warfare consider ended as your enemy knows you are lack of confidence and strength. You can write, but not say, that's the way how things work. 

Sometimes you are just so stupid, why create a fuss over a small obstacle in life. All these are just small challenges, magnifying it according to your emotions are one of the most retarded thinking methods of life. While people around you are doing this, you follow not! Following majority will make you part of majority; yet pursing the character of God will make you the leader of majority. 

Learn, start working, mere talking will not bring you anywhere. Faith, talents and wisdom or knowledge without actions are dead, eventually your soul will rot if you continue to stay in such method. Think about your father and mother, they bought a house. You are their heir, future wise they will  depend on you. You must carry them, otherwise what for having wisdom yet absence of piety. You are worse than dogs if you are in this manner. 

Think about your grandparents, do u think they have time to wait until you graduate if you repeat. That are old in age, just want to see you sprout. You cannot afford to lose in this 3 years. NOT even a single time. Pray, pray and pray. 

Pray that you will not lose courage, pray that God will send people whom will notice you. Ultimately, pray for a character that are noble and long-lasting. Recognizing your own problem and solve it. Dig your soul with prayer, know what God has given you and create what God tend to give you. Didn't he said: 

The Lord gives, and He takes away.  

There are sometimes people tend to boast about their opportunities. Yes, let them boast. Did not David said: 

 Stop it, who can stop the man from cursing me if is God the one whom tells him: "Go, and curse David" 

Listen to them, take courage and learn from them. Think of the inspiration they gave to you. One thing about you, you often cannot afford to lose your face when people prosper. Cut short, you are jealous, envy about others. If you really wish to be like them, work harder than them. People as such are good. For they do not hide from you and try to give you inspiration to grow. You are an apple in their eye. What they do are trying to inspire you so that the Lord's name will be glorify. Yet, how you act was just trying to have their approval instead to inspire them. 

You must not behave in such way. A man will only approve someone who is humble, who is selfless in terms caring the main objective. Humbleness creates greater strength than wisdom, for humbleness the source of wisdom. Did not God said

Fearing the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and knowledge. 

Fear, leads to humble. Simple as that. 

Somehow in life, you will meet people with different arrogance. Those who are arrogant ignore them, those who are humble help and be friends with them, constantly seek advice and learn from their behavior. When the arrogant seek help, help them. Teach them to be humble. If they insist and change not, leave them! The next time, keep your hands up and mock at them! For those who are humble, help them even they mocked you, help them even they resist to be helped. 

Learn to tolerate are important, demonstrate instead of preaching it. Start from the heart, think in their shoes and their culture background will help. Instead of standing in your shoe and condemn their actions, teach and help them out. This is one of the humble acts that Jesus demonstrated on the cross. 

Learn and pray son. 

To samuel,

regards 

9 November 2015

Recently I have been involving few activities in my university. It makes me so busy until I fall a sick. When I looked back my past, I found it was regrettable. My soul are so dreadful right now.

I have a past, that's all unremarkable.
A past whereby nothing is solid everything is void.
I regret, sadden why God never take me off from this situation.
Yet, life still go on.
Live well, is the greatest revenge.

Can I still get very good friends?
Am I still eligible to have best friends?
Gabriel is one, gideon is one.
Who else anymore?
When I need help they will give their hand to me?

I hope people will one day...